An open letter to my toddler, the arse.

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Dear Kody,

Right now you’re curled up in bed sleeping soundly. Your two-year-old body is worn out from all the fun you’ve had and all the mischief you’ve been into today. After a full day of being a tiny tyrant, it’s no wonder you’re tired! I lay in bed with you for an hour before you finally gave in (all part of the tiny tyrant thing…). When you did drift off to sleep I stayed a little longer just to admire your sweet face and the kodyfact that you were quiet and not being a little jerk. Sorry, was that a little much? Well, frankly, my dear sometimes you can be a bit much.

You are in the sweet little habit now of taking everything we ask you to do or tell you do to and putting it at the end of the phrase “I will not…” For example, “I will not go potty!” “I will not be nice to Bubba!” “I will not eat my food.” “I will not take a bath!” It’s so nice to hear that your language skills are what they should be and actually above average. It would also be nice if you didn’t speak so clearly so that it’s totally undeniable when you’re being defiant. Makes me kind of appreciate the fact your brother had such unclear speech at that age…. just kidding (or am I?)

You also love to spend your time tormenting your brother, who is four years OLDER than you are, who loves you and is afraid of showing you he’s older and stronger because he doesn’t want to to hurt you and is also afraid of getting in trouble. You like to sit back quietly and unassuming… letting him play with a toy just long enough so that he’s truly happy. Then you pounce, screaming “I have it! MINE!!” It’s so much fun to try to referee that and then to try to explain to your brother that you are just going through a stage and won’t always be so unpleasant about certain things. He’s a good sport about it, thank goodness.

Another reason you’re probably tired is because you spend a lot of your time climbing onto things you aren’t supposed to climb on (the bar, the table, your bookcase, the back of the couch, etc.) and running through the house, despite the fact you get in trouble for this on a regular basis. Yes, you are fast, as you love to yell at the top of your lungs as you make laps around your daddy, who is trying to nap on the couch. Yes, I see you jumping off the chair. I know you’re big enough to do that. I also know you aren’t too big to come crying for a kiss on your boo boo when you misjudge the landing and bang your head on the ground… again.

Son, I hope someday you will take your strong-willed nature and use it in a good way. Use it to make a good life for yourself. Use it to help others. Use it to earn respect from other respectable people. Most importantly, use it to discipline your own toddlers someday. I’m praying (fervently) that you have a little boy just exactly like you with your very own temperament and amazingly strong will and a sweet little girl that doesn’t give you an ounce of attitude until she turns 13 (just because that will be funny to watch). I know this age is just a stage, if we handle it the right way, and we’re trying hard to do that. I also know that no matter what you do, I’m going to always love you. Finally, I know that I’d better enjoy the quiet for the next few hours because in the morning you’ll be up and at it again, trying to break your own record of how quickly you made daddy take his blood pressure medicine. Good night, son. I hope you sleep well. You need your rest 🙂

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