As I sit here, I can barely reach the keyboard for this growing 34-week belly. Inside is my precious son. My second son, who will make his arrival within the next few weeks. I have known that I was pregnant with him since July 3rd, which put me at about 3.5 weeks, and I will not hesitate to tell you that July 3rd feels like a lifetime ago (no pun intended). I am at the crossroads of “I’m going to enjoy this last pregnancy not wish it away” and “Dear Lord, I’ll be glad when I can see my feet again.” Anyway, time is almost up, and I wish so much that I could enlighten my sweet baby on what awaits him in this world. If I could, here is what I would say.
We’ve been together, just the two of us, for quite some time now. I have experienced every little type of kick and nudge from you. I’ve heard your heart beat no fewer than ten times, and each time it was a brand new beautiful song to my ears. I am so excited and nervous about meeting you. In case you somehow haven’t heard yet, you will not be my only child. No, you will be my younger child. There is, I feel the need to warn you (yes, warn) that you have an older brother.
I am sure in the last few months, you have probably heard him. He is the one that calls me “Mom”. He is pretty loud. His name is James. He is almost four, and he’s amazing. He talks about you all of the time. He told me that you will have yellow hair like him and brown eyes like me 🙂 I don’t care how you look, but of course he’s very curious by now. I think he’s probably already awakened you a few times, and I hate to say it, but I’m sure it won’t be the last. James is very charismatic. He loves to talk and share his ideas. He is very loving when he’s happy and very… clear about his emotions when he’s anything other than happy. Whatever he feels, he lets it loose. There is never a moment where you will have to wonder what James is feeling or thinking. He is already very protective of you. He will not let me carry him for fear of “hurting Kody”. He hugs you and tells you good night. He talks to you, and sometimes he will even answer for you (once again, probably something you’ll get used to). Last night, he patted my belly and said, “Chill out, Kody.” Simply because that’s his newest catch-phrase, and then he laughed until he fell in the floor. He will take good care of you, I think. Let me alleviate some anxiety by telling you that despite his intense suggestions, I will not allow him to put you in the back of his green John Deere truck and drive you around until you are well over a year old. 🙂
I also want to tell you that someday, when you are older, you will probably see a home video of me, your dad, and James at the beach. I was pregnant with you at the time, and you’ll probably hear your dad say something along the lines of how this “next baby will be a girl… let’s hope.” Sorry about that. I will admit that your dad was, in a way, hoping for a girl for one reason only: in hopes that she would be calmer and more gentle than your brother. See, James is pretty rough on Dad. Wrestling with him is his favorite activity in the world, and he’s pretty strong, so Dad was hoping for a baby that might not want to wrestle so very much or so very intensely. When I realized you would be my second son, I did have a moment of sadness at the thought of all the things I would never do with a daughter, but it was not a moment of sadness about you… just a moment when I had to let go of some things. When your dad realized you were a boy, I think he might have fainted if there hadn’t been an entire basketball team watching him take the call. It took us a while to settle into the idea of two boys simply because James is SO MUCH BOY. You will see what I mean when you get here. But know this: you and James are all we have ever wanted. There has never been one ounce of disappointment since we saw those two little pink lines back in July.
Well, I suppose we will meet soon. I will try to be patient. Your room is all set. My arms are ready to hold you, and I still know the words to “You Are My Sunshine”, so whenever you’re ready just come on out. Oh, and just ignore your dad when he talks about waiting until his 6th grade basketball tournament is over. That is something only a non-pregnant person would say. I love you already more than anyone else can love you. Until then, kick James’s hand next time he touches my belly. He would be over the moon if you did that. Until we meet…